The stars align in the right order, then it snows!

Yep, I’m frustrated. Here goes my little traction rant and this happened the other day and I’m still ticked…….So I have my traction gig and sometimes when I’m finished, well, let’s just say, you know I dislike traction, but my back hates traction, it puts me out of life for days on end. Depending on its’ mood it really, really hates traction. But let’s say it’s in an ok mood today which is huge and it’s one of your off days from traction and the rest of you that feels like it’s falling apart is in a good place too. You’re excited you might actually get some things accomplished. Hands and fingers are working, check, neck not throbbing, check, back there but tolerable, check, numb foot, normal, check, numb leg, normal, check, a night’s sleep, unbelievable, yes, it’s true, check, numbness in face, none, check, wow, hurry, get out while you can, double-check list, oh yeah, dizziness from meds, nope, yipee, this really is a good day, triple check! And we’re off, showered, dressed, excited to feel “normal,” be like the folks that get up and go, ok, so let’s open that door, ooooh…the hand is cooperating so nicely today, wow, this is great……….now what is it that my eyes are seeing outside, closer look, it can’t be, not again, not on a day when I feel well enough to go out, NO………..SNOW………SH……………really, I mean REALLY, it’s all aligned for me today, I feel well enough to leave the house and it’s snowing, AGAIN! Jeez……

Life, see you in the Spring when all I have to worry about falling from the sky is rain and bird poop, can’t wait!

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Feeling groovy, but not.

I’ve been in the groove lately with traction. I feel like I’m really in a manageable routine and even though it’s uncomfortable and tedious and sometimes a bit too much on the painful side I’m really doing ok with it. For the first time I’m allowing myself to even think ahead a week or two and believing, I can do this. Looking back if someone had told me that I’d be so “ok” with it, so compliant with traction I wouldn’t have dreamed it, yet now that I am, it’s so freeing.

BUT, (why is there always a but, anyway)can I tell you my new thought, rather new fear, it’s that I’ll be all content in accepting this, rather than resigned to it, I’ll be as fine as I think a person can be who straps their head and neck in traction several times a week and yet, it will stop working. I’m not sure if this is an irrational fear. It’s just lately the more I do traction the more it feels like I’ve plateaued. The clerk at the pharmacy had to come out from behind the counter to push the key pad for me since my touch wouldn’t push the machine to the next step, yeah, the tired fellow customers in line where real happy about the delay in that moment too, like what’s with the chick who can’t figure out how to use the key pad. Oh and let me tell ya, there was this moment the other day when I couldn’t hit the digits with enough pressure to turn off the security alarm. That got my attention, probably the next door neighbor’s too, definitely got the attention of the alarm company but fortunately not the police’s.

So the new year could prove as interesting as ever but my wish is not to get too far ahead of myself in the fear department, to just take this all as it comes. Like I began this post, I wouldn’t have believed I could come this far with my attitude, or rather to this place in “Thoughts In Traction” as I have, so maybe I shouldn’t terrorize myself with the “what if’s” just yet. Instead I’d rather think of the new career possibilities, just think how “useful” I could be to someone if I develop the skill of not leaving fingerprints!

So I’ll leave you with a cliffhanger, stayed tuned, will I use my new skill for GOOD or EVIL?
Only time will tell.