A woman came up to a clerk that had just waited on me and asked for someone by name. The clerk responded, “I’m sorry, she’s off today.” Then the woman said, “I know, I talked to her yesterday and she said she was going to be off today.” The clerk looked puzzled but she was polite as can be and went on to offer her assistance. When I walked away I thought about how some folks seem to have more patience than humanly possible while I on the other hand could use a little more.
I try to practice patience while I sit here. I try to put it all in perspective. This certainly isn’t the worse thing ever, not even the worst thing I’ve done but it does require some more patience than I feel I have. If I can just get myself in a good place while I sit here I have more patience, better attitude about everything, it’s all a mind game. Just like when I’m in traffic, if I think I will be late for an appointment then I’m stressed and then I lose patience. That’s when I really need to give myself a pep talk and try to disarm myself, talk myself off any cliff I’ve created in my head that the world will somehow end if I don’t make it someplace exactly when I agreed to be there. I mostly get up tight if I think I’m careless with someone else’s time. That really bugs me, if feels beyond rude, it’s either a serious case of cluelessness or arrogance, I hope I’m neither but I have been both. I find I can’t look my doctor in the eye if I’ve kept them waiting and goodness knows they’ve kept me waiting but it’s not right if I do.
It’s amazing how much of life is in our head. If I make an adjustment in my head I can usually make myself feel better about whatever it is. I wonder since I can’t count on my body, it’s just not dependable, I can’t predict one day to the next how I will feel, so maybe I’m working on having more control over something else and that pretty much leaves my mind. I can’t control anything else, don’t want to, the beauty of getting older, control just doesn’t have the same appeal, just doesn’t seem that important anymore. So if I give up control I have more patience, maybe, not sure. Yet, if I adjust my attitude I know I can sit here more patiently than if I don’t, so,…………….. here’s to mind control.