My computer died on me so I’ve been out of commission for a few days but all is well now. I’m not sure I like to admit that I’m now that person that feels out of sorts without a working computer in their life. Not sure when that happened but it’s weird to think of how many times I reached for it only to remember, nope, not working.
And as for this traction gig, I missed my routine with the computer to get me thru the twenty minutes. I moaned how I had to keep my thoughts while in traction to myself! It’s kind of crazy how much I’ve grown to depend on the process, and then there’s the practical side, even something as simple as looking for a zip code you’d have thought the world had ended because I couldn’t search for it on-line.
I’ve tried to blame it on the doldrums of January and the constant color of the sky that resembles dirty snow but I think it’s more than that, I mean for pete sake for the walls to feel like they’re closing in because I can’t type on the computer, yikes, I’m addicted. Along with all my other health issues, now I have to recognize and admit that I’m addicted to my laptop. Where do you go for that meeting?
Ok, before I look that up on-line I’m going to just be happy for a second. I once again have the world at my fingertips while I’m sitting here in traction and that feels good. I like that connection, I embrace that connection. If that means I’m relying too much on the internet in my life I may just have to say, yes Dr. Phil, I’ve substituted my television addiction, that’s where I am right now, sorry, gotta go check email.
Postage stamps have so much power, with them you can mail anything, anywhere. Well, almost anything, excluding the list of stuff that hangs on the wall of most post offices that are big no nos, but it’s still a cool idea to me to think that with just a few stamps you can mail something pretty much anywhere. One of my first “jobs” as a child was to go into the post office and buy a “book of stamps please.” I learned at an early age that stamps are powerful, you can mail a letter or a birthday card, pay a bill, send a package, exciting things can happen when you have plenty of stamps. I know the world is quite a different place than when I first learned how much could happen when you licked the back of a tiny stamp, attached it to an envelope and threw it in a mail box, and then of course, double checked that it slide in there, it’s all exciting stuff. But now a days when you can pay bills on-line and send an e card around the world it seems stamps are less and less popular. Yet it’s still true when you need a stamp you can not find a substitute to place on that mail, even gluing your money to it is meaningless. If you need a stamp you still have to get a stamp and there lies the power. Yesterday I was waiting in line at the post office to buy several books of stamps because I was completely without stamps for days and therefore felt out of sorts, powerless. As the little girl in front of me counted to her surprise, ten people in line I was oddly comforted that some things don’t change as much as we think. We still need stamps, some folks still mail packages, some people still pay their bills the old-fashioned way, some of us still wait in line and some little girls have it as their chore to buy stamps.
I know there are plenty of ways to deal with mail these days and stamps are nearly out of vogue but I’m sentimental when it comes to some things and today as I’m making my list of things I’ll do when I finish traction I feel powerful because I now have in my possession three books of “forever” stamps.
I’m working on a jigsaw puzzle, haven’t done one in a long time. It’s good practice for my hands. When I was a child I enjoyed them and often received one every year for Christmas. My siblings used to tease me that I “molded” the pieces to fit. I always disagreed but I found myself last night trying extra hard, “molding” a piece to see if it would work where I needed it to, I guess old habits die-hard. Puzzles are one of those things that when you don’t do them or think you are beyond interested in them have the power to pull you in. Everyone that passes by a puzzle on the table has a comment or a suggestion. It’s fun to see someone with initial disinterest so pleased with themselves as they immediately find a fit and walk away. They are simple things that are good for many things. I find that when I’m working on one I’m either immersed in only thoughts of the puzzle or my mind is relaxed and wandering as it often does here in traction or I’m single-handedly solving some of life’s big problems! Puzzles have power and I like them. They seem old-fashioned and dated and I like that about them too. They are easy-going and stress free and good for fingers that sometimes are numb. I may be a “molder” from way back but that’s how I roll in the puzzle world.
Did you ever catch your reflection in a mirror and not recognize yourself? I’ve had that experience before while shopping, I look up in the chrome of a clothing rack and think who’s that, only to realize seconds later that its me! My hair will have fallen differently than I wear it or my face has a look I’m not used to seeing on myself and then I’m surprised at the image I see reflecting back. Today I saw a quick glimpse of my head reflecting in the screen on the computer, I’ve not seen myself in traction and I was a bit taken aback at how odd it looks. My face had a rather blank look and my hair is pushed back with the straps of the gizmo wrapped around. I looked like a person in an advertisement for a neck traction device, very serious, very official. That strikes me funny because that doesn’t feel like me at all, but maybe on some level I take this traction business very seriously. I guess the fact that I’m sticking with it indicates that I have some level of commitment to it and I know that without it I’d probably not be able to type this. So recognize me or not I’m sitting here looking back.
It’s still that time into the new year when I write the date and realize it’s no longer the past year, remembering after the fact that this year I’m living in is no longer 2010. After I realize my error I have some options as to what to do. I usually just put a slash thru the old year or it’s easy enough this year to just try to write over the old number, just make a 0 into a 1, it’s trickier than making 09 into a 10. I’ll have to do this well into the new year and then weeks from now I’ll finally remember and accept that we are indeed living in 2011. Then some random time later, like March 14 or July 27th I’ll do it again and I won’t have the excuse of just having a few days into a new year under my belt. The older I get the more the days and weeks and years are blending together. But maybe it’s more than that, maybe I have trouble with change. I’m not sure it’s anything that deep or complicated, maybe I just don’t concentrate too well. Anyhoo, it’s a new year and I’m in traction and I’m working on two years into this gig. Some day maybe I’ll quit counting how long I’ve been at it and just truly accept that it is what it is and even though it’s a new year traction is coming along with me.
Well, nothing too exciting here but I’m hanging in and trying to remember what year it is……have a good one, no matter what year it is for you.