I’ve been thinking about something I read recently, about how one of the most important things a child needs to feel in childhood is to be cherished. If I could only use one word to describe my own childhood that would be it, CHERISHED! So how lucky am I?!
Yet it is so true, I was the fourth and final child, but was made to feel like the cherry on top of the delicious ice cream sundae, the icing on the cake, I was the bonus, the special prize, they were all waiting for me to make life complete. It was as if I was the reason there were six ice cream sandwiches in the pack, then we could all get one, six candy bars in a pack, same reason, I just made everything make sense. That is how they made me feel. I was completely loved. My Mother used to stop me as she pushed me on the backyard swings, just as the swing would need another push, she’d grab the swing with me in it, put her arms around my waist and whisper in my ear, “you are the greatest, the sweetest, the most!” Then she would kiss my face and push me again.
As I have grown up and witnessed the sadness of how many people have never felt that kind of love and acceptance I have only grown to realize what an incredible gift I was given. And now as my Mom spends another Mother’s Day in heaven I am left to say thank you dear, sweet, kind lady, for all that you gave me everyday of my life!
I have great respect and admiration for Mothers because of the wonderful one I had, so I dedicate this blog to all of those that have lost their Mom. I understand your loss and sadness. The more we loved them, the more it hurts on a day like today.
Happy Mother’s Day, and cherish those children, it makes for happy and healthy adults.
It is hard for me to believe that December is here, 12/2013. Wow, from my perspective this year flew by. I am not sure I even blogged 12 times this year, but I did traction at least 12 times and then some, I thought of things to write about 12 times and didn’t write another 12 times. I had pain bad enough to offer it up for a worthy cause at least 12 times and I felt sorry for myself 12 times 12 too.
I am still here though, and I’ve probably said or written that 12 times, but on days like today that is an accomplishment. I’ve not let self-pity win, I’ve found joy and remembered it often. I’ve read at least 12 articles on how to cope with chronic pain, strategies to help, but few ever do and none make it go away but 12 times 12 I’ve moved on and said, what the hell these are my cards. I was not born into poverty, or lost my family in a natural disaster or famine or war. Hopefully, I’ve said thank you at least 12 times. I’ve found reasons to be happy and reasons to be mad. but sad isn’t where I like to live.
At the end of another 12 where I do live is pretty darn good, I overheard my great-niece tell my sister that she loves me, this from a two and a half-year old person, that felt great, worth a hundred reasons to move forward.
I thank you for reading this and hanging with me, 12 times over and over, I owe you.
Way before the “Rocky movies” with Sylvester Stallone there was another Rocky, a real Rocky, Rocky Graziano. At some point in my life I watched an old movie starring Paul Newman playing this middleweight champion. It’s based on a true story; it’s sentimental and sweet and ends just as you’d want any sentimental and sweet old movie to end. One of the final scenes in the movie, Rocky aka, Paul Newman points to the sky and says, “somebody up there likes me.” Well, today I said the same thing as I was saved from what could have been an unpleasant tumble to the ground. I’ve mentioned before how I can’t feel my left foot, my sciatic nerve is damaged at the root in my spinal column; as a result, I can walk on my foot but don’t ask it for much else. I’ve also mentioned one of the reasons I do traction is because I have difficulty feeling my hands, traction relieves pressure from my neck, therefore helping the hands. Anyhoo, so today a plastic shopping bag slid out of my hand and I didn’t notice nor did I hear it fall right in front of my path and then I tripped over it because I couldn’t feel it! I just happened to catch myself as I was walking up a step, fortunately there was something to grab onto as I started to fall. As soon as I recovered I pointed to the sky and said, somebody up there likes me!
It could have been an ugly one-two punch, but other than feeling a little shaken I was fine. I will never win a middleweight championship boxing match, which is really ok; but I like feeling “old blue eyes,” Paul Newman and friends are smiling on me.
Did you ever find something that you forgot you lost? When I was about eight years old my Dad brought me back from a business trip a small hand mirror with my name written on it. I don’t have an unusual first name, but for the time it was a big deal to see something sold in a store with my name on it. (Yep, I’m that old) It was also a big deal when my Dad went away on trips. He didn’t travel for work very often but when he did it was very noticeable in our house. For starters we had a much more relaxed dinner menu, we ate everything he didn’t like and to a kid it was all the favorite foods. Despite the fact that he wasn’t home my Mom made it fun and he made it memorable, I still recall the first time he sent me a post card, just to me, I thought it was the coolest thing.
So I find this little mirror the other day at the bottom of a drawer and it immediately made me smile. I still remember being so surprised the first time I saw it. We knew not to expect “things” when relatives came to visit or when Dad returned from a trip but to this day it is still easy to remember the excitement when they came bearing treats. My Godfather would come to dinner and bring four big bags of candy, one for me and my three siblings. They were the family size bags, the kind that if you were lucky your whole family typically received and shared, but he spoiled us so that he brought one for each of us!
These are such little things, such tiny moments in a whole life but there is something about them that many years later they still have the power to remind you of a surprise that is as sentimental as it sounds. It is true, making the ordinary special, taking simple moments and making a lifelong memory. It’s comforting to know that something might be out of sight or out of mind for a while but when rediscovered, when found, it still holds a piece of you. When I come across something like this it makes me wonder if I’ve been that person in a child’s life, have I made a lifelong memory for them, one that instantly allows them to know they are surrounded with love. I sure hope so.
There is no holiday for traction and here we are on Turkey day. Thinking about all there is to do today and how much I need these fingers to keep working, hence, traction on Turkey day. I’ve come a long way with my attitude about this gizmo I’m sitting in and that alone is certainly something to be thankful for. I now accept it as part of my life and whether it’s Thanksgiving or the Easter bunny’s hopping down the bunny trail I’ll be working traction into my holiday schedules. I’ve often thought if I amount to nothing else in this life at least I want to be a person who has a sense of gratitude. Much of “my” life plans at this age and stage have been altered by the circumstances of my health but I have been given and received so much. I have such a good and wonderful life, I’ve been enormously blessed. I’ve experienced a truly miserable day as well as an extraordinarily wonderful one. I can appreciate the difference and respect both. I’m beyond a lucky girl and as I sit here today I certainly know it and if I could do a turkey dance I would. Have a happy, grateful day celebrating whatever circumstances you find yourself in today. Gobble, gobble!