You might have noticed things look a little different around “Thoughts in Traction” these days……I’ve changed the format just a bit…..I like the fish swimming around in the background…..(my favorite part of the Dentist office experience is the aquarium, watching those fish swim around is relaxing despite the sound of the drill flowing from the back room.) Maybe I should think about installing an aquarium next to where I sit here to do traction, watch the fish swim while I’m hanging here……..well, that doesn’t sound relaxing but you get my point, I hope.
My two great nieces each have a fish and one day things were a little too quiet and sure enough a little hand up to its elbow was deep in the bowl trying to “see” the fish up close. Can’t say that I blame her, I always want a closer look, but not too close, I now have a shellfish allergy…….sounds too funny, except when it’s happening to you……all these years of living, eating clams and shrimp and now I have nearly bought the farm three times eating something too fishy…….life is crazy……..so I’ll be sticking to my little fish in this blog, they are calming and they don’t stop my breathing, so win, win!
I had an entire post written about my thoughts to introduce Traction to the Olympic Committee and then I hit the wrong key and puff……it’s gone. Yet, I’m still here, sitting in traction, Olympics or not. The fingers are not full of energy today to attempt typing it again so I’ll just say, watch out four years…..only thing, is it a winter or summer event?
As I was sitting in traction this morning pulling my neck with a ten pound bag of water I was watching a video on YouTube. If you’ve read this blog before you’ll know that I’ve done a lot of things to distract myself while I’m sitting there passing the time. My neck hurts today, my fingers are numb and when I finished traction my back wanted to punish me. As far as life goes I had a good weekend, as far as my spine is concerned just seeing a snow less ski slope invokes a feeling of cruel and unusual treatment. Although I enjoyed time with family and watching my niece graduate surrounded by the Green Mountains of Vermont I also knew what was ahead for the week, recuperation from the travel, i.e., many hours lying flat on my back.
For me the ordinary things require a lot of me, I’m not feeling sorry for myself, it’s just the way it is. From walking across the room to pulling laundry out of the washer, any activity that requires standing, holding a pen or even the telephone these days for more than a few minutes leads to my arm feeling numb and painful. Things aren’t going in the right direction for me in terms of my cervical and spinal conditions, but I’m trying, I’m not giving up. I’ve written before about the importance of that, how in moments that seems like victory enough. I’m ready for things to get better for me physically but unless I experience a miracle they probably won’t. I’m losing ground and sometimes that feels frightening, sad and frustrating but after watching a video of others experiencing their own challenges, surviving to tell their stories, I feel better. We aren’t alone in this fight, that gives us courage, it gives us the freedom to tell the truth. I’ve said this before and it’s worth stating again, life stinks, more than stinks and pushing forward a second at a time is a freaking victory.
Let’s do this thing people.
Nope, I’m no Charlie Hustle, aka, Pete Rose. 4192 has nothing to do with my stats for baseball, rather 4192 is the number of hits to my blog, not to a baseball. Who would have thought that when this silly idea started a couple of years ago that anybody would have read my thoughts…..but here we are at a record-breaking number for me! Just like in baseball numbers are a big deal in life. We measure every thing; motivation often comes from those numbers. This is my 75th post!
I confess I check to see what people have been interested in enough to read, what they seem to like verse not. Sometimes I think it’s in the title, that catches the attention, but you have to eventually say something funny or otherwise interesting to keep people coming back. I’m not going to start a radio talk show with these kind of numbers, I’m not Dr. Phil or Oz with a spin-off from Oprah but I do secretly hope that maybe I’ve motivated someone to stick with something that they just as soon could have given up on. I’m going to tell myself that there are folks just like me out there that needed a push and some encouragement to get the ball rolling. To do something so NOT fun for the sake of the good.
Anyhoo, enough of my rambles for today, the next person who reads this blog gets a lifetime supply of……………………….
As I was sitting in traction recently in a hotel room at the Waldorf Astoria I was thinking about how many other people in the history of the beautiful hotel may have ever checked off another day of their cervical traction routine “hanging” in one of the lovely rooms. The hotel boasts that Frank Sinatra, Bob Hope, Louis Armstrong, Jimmy Durante and many more legends have all walked the block long lobby with golden columns and crystal chandeliers. The legendary bar, Sazerac, serves the strongest drinks I’ve ever drank and quickly helps you forget any traction woes. From the beach at the Hard Rock Hotel to the Holiday Inn Express, traction came along and hung over the doorways of all. I’m back home now staring at my own door frame and thinking about what might be the next hotel I sit in traction. I realize it doesn’t matter where it is or what floor or how beautiful or famous or not, my traction will come along and make it feel just like home.
I saw a little girl crossing the street today along with another girl about her age and two woman. The women were also both pushing strollers so it seems that the girls maybe big sisters. They crossed the street at a busy intersection filled with lunch time traffic. As they crossed the street they stretched out and moved along the cross walk in a line rather than as a group. The slow poke girl was at the end, taking her time and enjoying the moment, blowing bubbles as she pushed her sunglasses up on her face. She looked like she was about five years old and seemed oblivious to the congestion surrounding her. There she was, stopping every so often to gently blow more bubbles. It was the sweetest thing to witness, she definitely seemed to be walking to the beat of her own drum. Traction seems here to stay but it’s now Summertime, filled with happy children, bubbles blowing and good things right before your eyes if you look.
So there’s a lot of hoopla over the upcoming “royal wedding.” Seems there are two camps, those that could care less or those that care a lot! Hands down best part of any of their weddings are the hats. Most either look like you could land a 747 on them or nest a lovely family of robins. Perhaps I could introduce this traction strap currently around my head as a trendy wedding guest fashion statement. Glue gun some feathers and a broken bird wing, (seems appropriate) and voila, a versatile, yet perfectly charming chapeau leaving the Brits to wonder what we’re up to over on our side of the pond.
When in London a big concern for me is avoiding being hit by a car. The cross walks get a little tricky, you know those little cars coming and going in the “wrong direction” can take you out if you have to use your makeshift cane for its intended purpose and keep the raindrops from melting your hair as you limp along a busy intersection. Other than the fear of being splat on the pavement in an unsightly, undignified, mortifying sort of way the UK is a fine place for a nice cup of tea with or without a homemade traction hat; but hold all the hoopla please.
(You know, some days even as I’m typing I really know there’s much cause to prove this thing is cutting off the circulation to the gray matter)
I’m worried I’m becoming that person that leaves their blinker on and doesn’t know it. You know that driver, they’re strolling along the interstate with their left blinker on completely without a clue. When I was younger I’d pass that person and think how can anyone be that out of it?!
Well, I’m not sure it’s about cluelessness anymore, since my hearing isn’t what it used to be maybe it’s partly that, maybe I’m afraid what it’s about. What is it that Gertrude Stein said, “one does not get better, but different and older and that is always a pleasure.” Well, we’ll see about that one Gert. But hey, I try to keep up, I’ve never been a person you’d describe as “hip” but hey I listen to indie music, I know that if someone describes themself as a “cutter” that doesn’t mean they’re out in the kitchen slicing tomatoes. I know the difference between the low down and the down low, ok, so I’m not dead, yet. So this blinker thing, it’s not really happened but I feel it’s around the corner. Along with crumbs on my shirt and farting at random. Life is just one slippery slope to losing it all, so we have to live people! We have to get out there, not be so afraid, jump out of airplanes or at least get on one and go some place you’ve never been. Stop comparing ourselves to everybody else and enough with the insecurity, before you know it you’re going to be dead so who cares! Live, live, live and turn your blinker off, you look like a dope.
This is new, have never done traction after I’ve gone to bed for the night and then wake up and can’t go back to sleep. Traction is traction but I’ve never done it when it feels like everyone else is sleeping. Insomnia is not your friend. You know when you can’t sleep in the middle of the night you try all the old reliables, reading, something to drink, watching tv, if none of that works you probably wouldn’t next think, well, there’s always traction. But hey, that’s my life and I’m sticking to it. Happy sleeping world, I’m jealous, nighty night.
Not in a creepy way, just when something is so great, near perfect that you feel like there’s another force at play. When someone says something was “so magical” it usually conveys something good but how to repeat the magic can be tricky. When a day or an event comes together with forces opposing it, when folks that don’t like each other get along, when every thing flows and one typically complicated thing easily leads to another less complicated you wonder what just happened. Who just smiled on me? What forces caused such a cool thing? Then sometimes the exact opposite happens and the reaction is what storm cloud did I just walk under; who did I tick off to cause this? Cause and effect, or are all things working in an order and are predisposed….who the heck knows….I guess I just know within myself when I’m lying to myself or when I’m being real and as long as I know that, I don’t have to share it with anyone, I just know if I’m being real or not, then I’m doing ok. I overheard a woman today and wondered if she was being honest with herself or the person she was speaking with on the phone, only she knows. She has the power to make that moment what it is, a lie or truth, there’s no magic there.
I’m trying to live the truth of my life and the rest comes as it comes……..I don’t need magic do I, yeah, it can feel wonderful if you think there’s some big thing pulling for you, causing it all to go your way today but really, if I really know me, I mean really know, no holding back, then I know everything I need to know, no magic necessary.