Did you ever leave early and regret it?

Did you ever notice the people who leave the baseball game in the top of the ninth or the basketball game with two minutes to go or leave church before the last prayer? Where do you think they are going? I know I’ve been tempted to leave things early because sometimes in a crowd folks don’t have a lot a patience for the chick walking with a limp. If I’m using a cane it’s amazing how many times it has been kicked out from under me or the back of my shoe has been stepped into causing it to come off, literally folks at my heels.

As I “celebrate” the second year of this blog, third year of traction, I think back about all the times I did want to quit. All the times I left traction early or cut out on some exercises, but just as many or more did I stick with it, I’m still here. Although I clearly understand my reasons for wanting to leave traction early, even leave it in the dust, I also know I’d be missing out on something. It’s so tempting to not finish something that is so not fun, so not entertaining, so not pretty, so not anything I’d ever wish on you or anyone. But it’s not a sporting event or chosen event and as a result, I won’t beat the traffic, I won’t get home in time for my favorite TV show, or make my dinner reservation. Life isn’t always a simple, neat little package you can plan and organize.

Sitting in traction and writing this blog is for me, I benefit most, I suffer most when I don’t do it, when I leave early, when I stop caring. Many of the subjects of these blogs have been about mind over matter. In these few years I’ve not found a trick or a secret or a magic wand, I’ve just hung in there, some days more gracefully than others, some days more painfully than others, some days wanting to scream or cry or laugh my self silly at this gizmo and the tediousness of it all.

Is that why people leave the game early, are they bored, are they in a hurry, or are they a control freak like me that wants to be in charge of everything? You will not find the answer here but you will have time to think about it. I’m taking what this experience is offering, sometimes that doesn’t feel like much but it is SOMETHING and when I forget that, I’m in trouble. So for now, I’m watching the last pitch, listening to the sound of the buzzer and saying Amen with the few stragglers left in the pew because I don’t want to miss a minute of this thing called my life.

(ps, I should run thru this entry again to make sure it makes sense but again, that’s not what this is about, I need this blog to be here for me just as it is, to ramble, to whine, to laugh, to be. To help me get thru and today I don’t feel like making sure it all makes sense, does that make sense 😉

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Distraction, concentration, procrastination all in one little day.

Did you ever impatiently wait for something to bake in the oven only to then realize you hadn’t turned it on? Did you ever take your recipe with you to the grocery store and be so intent on making sure you bought every ingredient that you spent ten minutes looking for sour milk before you realized it was SOUR MILK?! Well, that’s been my attempt to be productive, what a nut I am. It has been a snowy couple of days and maybe the barometric pressure is throwing me off, who knows but I should definitely not be operating heavy machinery today so it’s good that traction is on the light side when it comes to mechanical things. I have a list of things to do a mile long like many do this time of year and I’m pretty much only thinking about the fun stuff. I’m going to make an old recipe of my Mom’s and Grandmother’s that I’ve never made before, I’m hoping it will be a success if I remember to pre heat the oven or at the least turn it on. So wish me luck or maybe considering everything I should wait until tomorrow.

To do list in making a list (In honor of Mom, Min and Marie)

I love lists, I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I instantly feel organized after I create one, even when most likely at that moment I’m the furthest thing from it. When I’m sitting in the waiting area for an appointment nothing pleases me more than to pull out a list and add notes. I’m a complete dork about adding notes and tweaking my list. Maybe it’s because even if you don’t do another thing you feel a sense of accomplishment because you compiled a list. It makes no sense but you can see how sitting here makes me want to create a list. Doesn’t matter what kind, grocery, daily chores, long-term projects, life goals, books I want to read because I think someone my age should have read them, places I want to visit near a spectacular view with something great to drink, you get the idea, it doesn’t take much……..doesn’t matter, it’s about MAKING the list. When it comes down to accomplishing the things on the list, well, sometimes I can’t even find my list to check things off. Sometimes there’s nothing to check off, sometimes I realize there is another list to make within my list. But it doesn’t matter because I know I have made an ideal list and while I’m working on getting to my list, I’m perfecting my list!

1st you need some time to yourself, check!
#2. a desire to make a list, check, check!
#3. something/anything to write on, (I’ve even used the back of a receipt at the bottom of my purse, it was that or a tissue) check!
#4. any task or idea you deem worthy of requiring a list, check!
#5. a writing tool, (lipstick has worked in a pinch,) check!
#6. great enthusiasm and a child like dream of accomplishing the list, check!
#7. realize need to create another list to better ready myself to accomplish the things on this list, check!

Well, that’s pretty much it. Just while I’m sitting here today I’ve made three lists. I’m removing my head from this contraption and I feel like Martha Stewart out of prison.